Why do we keep feeling sad over and over again?

Dream Feed

Because we fail. We fail in our goals, endeavours, and our own self-improvement. We then associate ourselves with these failures and refuse to get out of sadness.

But the deeper question is that, if we know that sadness is dumb, then why do we keep doing it over and over again? This line of questioning tackles the core of your mental thoughts and is so simple to discuss.

See, sadness is an emotion, and emotions are hard-wired into your mind. You would have to sort out your emotions one-by-one to remove the association of sadness from things and events. Now do you really think that the point of life is to remove sadness from your mind?

The flip-side is that sadness is simply the opposite of happiness. And that if there was no sadness, then you wouldn’t know what happiness was. Happiness would simply be something taken for granted, like breathing.

Now sadness will continue to be with you till the end of time. You will feel sad while watching a sad movie, you will feel sad while listening to your friend’s misfortunes, you will feel sad while looking at a cat eating a bird. Sadness is an emotion that is chemical and is related to your environment deeply.

But sadness can be loosely figured out like this – An event A -> gave us a memory B -> gave us an emotion C.

That is all.

Sadness is a C.

So if sorting out your sadness is illogical, and living inside of sadness is illogical, then what can someone do to get out of it?

— People have had a memory of themselves, when they felt completely alive and felt really happy. They saw sad events happening, but didn’t stick to it, and simply let it go. This memory of theirs, makes people cling to sadness and question it. They want that feeling back, and they want to work their way backwards into figuring out why they felt sad, and how they can feel happy. This is a good game to play, but a game none-the-less.

Because, the creator gave you sadness. You didn’t ask for it. So why change it or address it? Why not just recognize it and move on? Sometimes we may feel bogged down with our problems, and we don’t want to address them. This gives us even more sadness, and we want to hide away in a corner. Kids do that, when they know that their parents or teachers can’t help them. If everyone was more open about their own sadness around other people, we would have a more happier society. Sadness is loosly associated with weakness, and it is this very thing that we need to weed out.

But at the end of it all, what good is a life without sadness? Where will art and creativity spur from? Where’s the reason to continue living if not to enjoy emotions and celebrate them?

Which is why, sadness is clearer than dust in a pond. Sadness is only a chemical and physiological reaction to an event. But it is our choice to have a flash of humour about our sadness and to make fun of this bizarre thing called sadness. See, whenever people talk about how sad they are or helpless they feel, we get into a defensive mode. We start to fix things in their lives, instead of simply talking to them about what kind of sadness they feel. Tribes, and people living in close proximities rarely feel sadness, because they know that they can rely on their friends and families to help them out, and hence this natural reaction comes to their mind and quickly fades away.

Thus, what is the value of your sadness? To you it may be immense, and you stick to it like gum. But to a child, he cries at one moment and laughs at another. A child simply uses sadness as an expression of his condition, and an adult uses sadness as an excuse to hide away.

Sadness is only a river that refuses to fade away, while a storm approaches to uproot nature’s basic beliefs. The things that give us sadness are so few and so many at the same time. You can be sad about your favourite team losing, or in the case of clinical depression, you can be sad about any and everything that you see, hear, or think.

What if I could give you a pill that would solve your sadness, whenever you felt sad? Would you take it? No. Because you start to define yourself as someone who can get sad sometimes. Thus, if I uproot this idea of sadness from your mind, then who would you become? Who would you be? Your entire ego is gone and you start to shake. You don’t know who you are anymore. What if I remove hatred from your mind, and jealousy and lust and anger, what if I make you only experience the good things in life and never the bad? What would you do then? Nothing. You would live longer and happier than most others, but neither nor them would have accomplished anything significant. Even Gandhi is only remembered once a year, despite having his face plastered on the one thing we hold dear to our hearts.

Now the real problem, is how you need to fix your mind so that you stop responding with sadness to things that shouldn’t cause sadness in the first place. How do you go about doing that? You need to stop and think about whether what you’re doing is fun or not. If its not fun, then don’t do it, or fix it to make it fun. Have fun in it. A child can have fun in a puddle of mud and roses. What do you hold so dear, such that your sadness can’t over-turn itself?

The other cause of sadness is fear of death. Every other fear, rejection, heights, love, criticism, is an indirect off-shoot of death. Now why would you fear death in the first place? What do you hope to accomplish by having a fear of death? Death is simply a switch-off of your awareness. That is all. The pain associated with it is simply an electric current flowing through your mind. Pain is not real, but only real in the mind. Your mind is the reason why you have sadness and fear, and your mind is the thing that will solve the problem for you.

Now you see this duality? A problem (sadness) is created by the mind, and the solution (happiness) is held hostage by your mind. Now simply relax and breathe out. Nirvana. You see the game for what it is. A game that’s meant to entertain and clutch to this world. Your mind, given to you, is the reason why you have all these problems. Now do you want to wait, until your mind gives you the solution to your problem? Or do you want to become happy today, and accept sadness as a part of this experience called life. The moment you let go, you can finally start to breathe.


Consulting gigs, click here – http://sanchitkhera.com/consulting/



Comments are closed.