That’s what it is, most of the time. You think and think and play a game of logical-chess with yourself. Sometimes its for practice. Practice for when you’ll actually have a debate with someone else. That’s when we adapt their personality and train of thought into ourselves, and try to debate our way out of it. That’s when we “think” that we’re losing our minds, but actually the reason why we’re losing it is so that we can find our way out of it over and over again. This is why we feel like we keep forgetting what we believe in and need constant motivation. Its a cycle created by the self to change other people, and it keeps us entertained.
That is life unfortunely, but why live by these rules? Question them, until you realize that questioning is pointless. Like a river that crashes against a rock, instead of flowing above or away from it. The crashing creates a sound, and the sights are beautiful. But beyond that its the paper that cuts the finger when the flicking creates friction.
Now, to get yourself out of this mental bind, you try to apply certain “truths”. You say “Life is about passion”, or “life is meaningless”, or “I hate my life”, or something else, and see if it makes sense to your current self at that moment. You assume that “life is about passion” and you start mind-running. Until you find another hurdle/trap/stuck. Now you find another “truth”, which then applied gives us another trap. Don’t you see! Your mind already has this figured out. By the very logic of knowing these “truths” and applying them, you’re revisiting flawed concepts. Now, you’ll keep on doing this – for days on end. Until you realize that contradiction is commoner than civilization. This is when you think to yourself – what’s the end game?
And then, you decide to stop thinking for good. But when you meet people, your mind keeps going again. It keeps rattling. So why does it keep on thinking? It is because you’re talking to people who are in a mental trap, and you’re trying to find a way out that will liberate them. But what’s the point of liberating people? If liberation was the point of existence then why create traps? See, its entertainment and engagement. This universe is created to confuse, wander, and be lost. That seems to be intrinsically linked to structure and paths. When the path is straight-forward, it becomes boring. When the path is boring, it becomes straight-forward. Thus confusion is inherent to clarity.
So, sometimes you feel lost and other times you feel straight. Sometimes you lose your mind, other times you find it. See what this means?
Some thoughts you can’t solve, others you can! The ultimate freedom. Your mind can solve 99 problems, and let go of the last one. Because freedom is not in solving all 100 problems, because that is a structured path as well. Hence, now you can fluctuate between 0 problems solved (which is fine) and 100 problems solved (which is also fine).
So who won today? White or Black? Or the Chessmaster? Or the chess board? Or the eyes that captured everything and the brain that focused so strongly on winning and losing that it lost the fun of the game.
So much back and forth and justifying everything you think and do. Why? Just be thoughtless and let go of constant questioning. Questioning will continue until the end of time, for all people. Now how many of time would like to re-live their lives? Ask yourself.