How does one become himself or herself forever. Never being swayed by other people, and never manipulating or being manipulated. How does one reach this state of mind/presence?
You are at a party, where you have people of all colours and voices. Some are bold, and others diminuer. The entire group may have a few commonalities, or there may be various sub-groups with similar elements. Now how does one participate in this discussion, without imitating the group’s tone, or energy. How do you find yourself and maintain it throughout your interactions? Is it better to cave in and follow what the group dictates?
How about both. Both. A little bit of them, and a little bit of me. When a group sees an outsider they instantly deem them to be unsuitable for conversation. They think that the individual is too “out-there” and is trying an experiment with us to see our limits. See a group, needs an outside entity to define it. It’s Team Microsoft V/s Team Apple. Team India V/s Team South Africa. Hinduism and Buddhism. What we fail to understand is that groups inherently want the same thing. All of them want to share knowledge, insights, resources and share a common goal. Now whether you are a part of that goal or not, is up to you. When you’re an outsider or an “individualist”, you do not follow the same goals of that of the group’s. So then what’s your goal then? If its nothing, then that’s perfect. You have no goals from interacting in the group. Therefore you can actually talk to them, without treating them as “assets” that you can use over time. They will appreciate it, and talk to you more. A man with no agendas, and wants nothing? – Holy Moly, what’s this guy’s game? People will get attracted to that, and soon you’ll find like minded people around you.
In the other sense, you’ll actually develop meaningful relationships with people, as the outsider who loves the members of the tribe unconditionally. You can be a reliable source of information and aren’t selling yourself all the time.
So now, what’s your anxiety all about? Why continue to be in the dark about your inner-self? You want to express it, and so does everyone else. Now imagine a world where everyone expresses their inner-self. You now have a civil society that enjoys talking to other people.
Our other hang-up, is that we always try to change/help people. We try to figure them out constantly, to figure out how they can become more a part of the tribe. Give this up, because you and me and everything in the unniverse is the same thing. We all have the same motivations and intrinsic intentions. Like a feather that flows with the air, you determine where you want to go by bending sideways or floating left.